Yeah, as you can see.. I had my worst birthday ever this year, this month.
My birthday was 2 days ago. But only few close friends remembered and wished on that particular day. I appreciate that. I dont blame them if they're forgot. I'm a kind of person who gets embarrassed to tell to the world that today is my birthday. Saying that go buy me a present or something like that. Nu-uh. I'll just let it be, keep it low. if you remembered, cool. if not, thats okay.
So i'll just wait another wishes for me on the next day. I'm still hoping for that important person tho. On the next day, i'm not okay. I was very sad. My family too didn't remember or wish anything for me yet. Actually i was waiting for their wishes but i didn't get any even we're under the same roof. Nah, if you think i have problems with my family, you're just misunderstood. They also forgot but i was just very sad. I have different personalities between when i'm with my family and i'm with my friends. Me in my house, with my family, i'm like the youngest because i tend to cry a lot, keep feeling sad, keep merajuk,very stubborn, rebel a lot, just like how the youngest act. Padahal, well, i'm still the bongsu...bongsu tua. Haha. I have the youngest brother but his attitude is not like mine. He listens to elders very well, we can rely on him to do anything (sometimes), doesn't feel sad or merajuk all the time in a family. Totally different with my personality. So yeah, i was very sad. In addition, i was the only one who was born on December and the rest they have partners. Like my dad and my Along were born on January. My mom and Angah were born on June. My elder sis and the youngest brother were born on August. I'm the only one who didnt get in partners. I was very sad thinking about that for a long time, since i was a kid ok. Poor kid :(
But one thing that made me very, extremely sad was...he too didn't remember :(
We are in LDR situation so i get sad easily and clingy. He told me he forgot. Then i asked him to just leave me alone, dont talk to me something like that. My life has been miserable these days. No, i mean, this year has been miserable for me. And he was away and busy and invisible and busy. So i was very sensitive these days. I get emotional easily. That's why i got very angry and sad at the same time. Do you know how it feels? It feels like my heart gonna explode to pieces. My neck feels like someone choke me. I didn't like that. I dont want bad and negativity feeling all over me. I tried to endure it.
To my closest friends who remembered and wished, thank you. I'm gonna make you feel special on your birthday later because you are special to me. And also to my closest friends (very close) but didn't send me wishes or just say hi, i was surprised that i consider them my very best and closest friends, yet we are like strangers. They knew, btw. They knew my birthday was on 7th Dec but yeah i did not expect that they made a decision to have barriers between us. Its like i didnt know you. You are not the quality that i'm looking for :) Till then. Have a nice day. x
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